I spent this weekend at home. Without parties (not to mention themeparties), bars, socially engaging activities that involve alcohol and excitement. Instead, I went to the gym, visited some friends, had a dinner in a proper restaurant, finished a book that I'd been reading for 3months and went for a coffee with my sister. However, I wasn't alone - I had half a bottle of wine and my boyfriend with me. Now what worries me is this: I cannot cannot cannot remember the last time I went to bed at 10pm on SATURDAY evening (even to watch a movie) nor the last time I didn't go to a bar with my mates during a weekend. In addition, I haven't been out during the weekdays at all (for weeks). This is another thing that worries me. Am I a really that old now? Or is this the famous Finnish depression everyone seems to suffer from? Or can it really be that being in a relationship has changed me?
To understand my worry, one has to understand and know me. I have always been very outgoing person,
literally and going out has been more a lifestyle than an occational fling. I don't want everyone to think now that I can't have fun without alcohol and can't express my feelings without drinking like a typical Finn. Quite the contrary, I'm usually more emotional when sober than when drunk. Another example of my strange but yet Vee-like behaviour is last March when I decided to stop drinking. I didn't drink for a whole month but still I was out every single weekend. Now you must start understanding why this "staying at home and not going out during the weekdays" worries me.
All this worries me also because I felt guilty about it. I felt guilty about staying at home the whole weekend and was making up different excuses. The Vee my friends know is the Vee who goes out every weekend but can it really be so that that Vee is changing? Is it ok to stay at home at the age of 26 and feel good about not going out?
God these questions are starting to sound like Carries' so called problem questions in Sex and the City. I hope I'm not that pathetic yet ;) Now, drinking wine home alone on a Sunday night, I start to realize that maybe I should try to change worry into glory. Isn't it actually freedom to be able to choose to stay at home or to go out every weekend? I can do whatever I want. Despite my age, depressionrate and relationship status.
To celebrate this freedom, I'll write down my grandma's favourite meatsoup recipe that I seem to lose every week. At least now I'll find it from here (from now on).
Mummin terveellinen lihakeitto
400g naudan jauhelihaa
1 sipuli
1rkl vehnäjauhoja
0,5dl vettä
1 lihaliemikuutio
1 kasvisliemikuutio
suikalevihannespussi
4 perunaa (suikaleina)
viherpippuria
100g (viherpippuri)sulatejuustoa
2dl kermaa
mustapippuria
C'est bon. Kokeilkaa ja nauttikaa :)